Dating someone with no friends

22-Oct-2016 16:30

Or due to personality flaws: Too abrasive, moochy, needy or socially awkward for others to tolerate them even as friends.

I gave the counter-hypothetical of a man who recently moved to a city and hadn't made any friends yet.

I can imagine some people would revel in it, getting all of the person's attention.

I myself would be a little for the same reasons my wife would be.

Yet, this generaization may not hold at the scale of the individual. Everything else being equal, there's a part of me that would be kind of attracted to a man with no friends because then all I need to do is integrate him into my social circle and I don't have to learn any new names.

If I later learned that this carnivore works out and goes mountain climbing every day and otherwise seems like a normal, healthy-type person, I might change my mind. My husband has always been social with plenty of friends.

Of course there could be "legitimate" reasons they don't have friends.

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But in a dating situation, getting to know someone early on you aren't invested very much so there is comparatively little risk to pass up the picky eater, person with no friends, or 300lb tumblrista. But see what I'm talking about is a person with NO friends. It's normal for people to have a few close friends, then acquaintances.Even if he'd easily integrate into my social group, I think it would lead to awkwardness when I would say "You know that group with whom we often hang out? Would having no RL friends be a deal breaker for you?Well, I want to do it again, but this time without you." I'd feel guilty and awkward leaving him alone to his own devices, even if he was okay with it. I can imagine some people would revel in it, getting all of the person's attention.She said she'd be willing to be friends with a man in that situation and take it from there.She said ultimately she didn't want to be the person's one and only friend in the world because in the past, friends/partners like this all ended up being extremely clingy and needy.

But in a dating situation, getting to know someone early on you aren't invested very much so there is comparatively little risk to pass up the picky eater, person with no friends, or 300lb tumblrista. But see what I'm talking about is a person with NO friends. It's normal for people to have a few close friends, then acquaintances.

Even if he'd easily integrate into my social group, I think it would lead to awkwardness when I would say "You know that group with whom we often hang out? Would having no RL friends be a deal breaker for you?

Well, I want to do it again, but this time without you." I'd feel guilty and awkward leaving him alone to his own devices, even if he was okay with it. I can imagine some people would revel in it, getting all of the person's attention.

She said she'd be willing to be friends with a man in that situation and take it from there.

She said ultimately she didn't want to be the person's one and only friend in the world because in the past, friends/partners like this all ended up being extremely clingy and needy.

She felt like a person with no friends is like that for a reason.